Tuesday, October 30, 2007

B.H. Party Vulcan's Halloween Extravaganza

Um...so...most days in the Emergency Room are absolutely crazy. From the time I arrive at my desk in the morning until the moment I dart out the door in the afternoon, there seems to be no end to the constant stream of patients.

When Sonia and I do get a break, every once in a great while, B.H. Vulcan winds up with a new super awesome outfit.
Halloween Robo-Vulcan

I wanted to be a robot for Halloween. But time and cardboard boxes wouldn't permit, so I drew Vulcan this little number, complete with Boombox and Casio Cordless Phone.

robo-vulcan dance party


Over the last year, Vulcan has been a Prom Queen, a Hula Girl, a Pizza Chef, a Fisherman, an Angel of Fitness, the Easter Bunny....

Here's a link to the FLICKR SET

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

For Sally and the Jim

I found the crown jewel last week, the junior high note of all notes, in a box full of old school papers.

The note was meant to be included with an "I'm Sorry" Hallmark card (you know, the tall and skinny ones filled with deep thoughts) that I bought for Mark S. (the most popular boy in my junior high) after I punched him in the nose during study hall one day. He had been making noises at me from P.E. on through two classes and I couldn't take it anymore. So I punched him. I felt awful about it. I'd never done anything like that before and it took me completely by surprise. What's worse, the junior high dance was that night and Mark decreed that none of the boys could dance with any of the girls because I had punched him in the face. Tragedy. It was all a tragedy. awesome.

The other dancing incident referred to in the note:

7th grade. My friends Jenifer and Alix came over after school one day to help me make up a dance routine each of the songs from the brand new record by The Party (a singing group featuring now non-famous members of the 90's Era Mickey Mouse Club). Three-fourths of the way through the album, as Damon sang the stirring chorus to the song "Ton of Bricks", my moves morphed from the running man to a popular cheerleading move, where I brought arms in and one of my legs up in the air. Unfortunately, the other leg couldn't handle the great force gravity as I spun around and buckled beneath me. I had broken my knee-cap. In two places. I think it was at that moment that I lost my love for Disney produced Pop Music.

In any event, Mark (the boy I would later punch during study hall and therefore ruin one of the two Jr. High Dances my 8th grade year) and his best friend Shane were outside shooting hoops in my driveway/half-court basketball court. Jen and Alix were shrieking and Shane and Mark ran inside. Alix called her mother, who was a nurse and lived just a block away. I remember that my outfit did not match and my hair was quite the mess from doing the "Roger Rabbit" and how mortified I was that Mark was in my living room.

The next day, our 7th grade volleyball team played in the State Sectionals. I remember how ashamed I was that I should miss so important an event because of a freak dancing injury. A freak dancing injury that did not even occur on a glowing dance floor in the midst of throngs of jumping hip kids, but in the confines of my woven-wallpapered, dusty-cornered, museum-like living room.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Wearing the pants in Vulcan's family is like....

B.H. Vulcan celebrates Columbus Day
*B.H. Vulcan celebrates Columbus Day*

So...the Bingram is having us write a simile as the clincher for each essay from now on...

This Cristobal Colon weekend, my homework - which I actually worked on between a barrage of Migraines and Chest Pains during the Mealtime Madness in the ER yesterday - was to create a simile for each of the following phrases:

Studying for an exam
The cold rainy day
The look on my friends face
Buying textbooks
Our first date

Here are my creations:

Studying for an exam is like filling your head with cotton and pulling it out through your ears.

The cold, rainy day was like the melted sludge at the bottom of an ice cream bowl.

The look on my friends face was as bright as the gleam on a flying V guitar.

Buying textbooks was as emotionally and mentally draining as watching a Lifetime Movie starring Meredith Baxter.

Our first date was like the maiden voyage of the Titanic, totally sunk.

I know. I would have dated myself by saying Meredith Baxter Birney.